So except you’ve been living under a rock, on a remote abandoned island, with minimal access to technology and information, Y’all know that 2020 is not what we planned for 😅😅😅.
Now before the novel corona virus hit my ground zero, I was already tired of my routine.
I was struggling with my PhD, struggling with finding the strength to get up in the morning, get the girls ready for school, make breakfast, bake (which I absolutely love), even to read romantic novels (which always, always cheer me up)…
I was tired with my life as it was. I was slowing teetering towards being depressed to be honest. I just was not finding joy in anything, not even my sweet babies laughter. I was tired of following a routine, a schedule…
And Corona landed. I was so happy at not having to wake up every morning at 5 or 6. I was delighted that I didn’t have to start cooking and bustling about early in the morning. I was relieved at not hearing chatter from 6 am in the morning till 9pm at night (this one was short lived 😅). I was just relieved…
After a few weeks of this new found freedom, I began to tire. Little did I know that it was just the beginning of the upheaval of everything I had come to recognize as my life.
Church was out of the picture. And I wasn’t feeling the online services at allllllll 🙄. So naturally, I started to give it less attention. I’d mutter a few words of thanks morning and night and that was it. Boy ó boy, did my life change. I began to feel empty and without purpose. Something had to give!
Well something did. A friend reached out to me as asked how my Christian life was. I hesitated. I didn’t want to portray myself as backslidden or as unserious, but I was yearning, thirsting for more. So I opened up to her. Little did I know that she actually hesitated to ask me! She eventually asked because the Holy Spirit would not let her be! (thank you Uncle HS).
That’s how I joined the prayer group she and some other ladies were holding every morning /night depending on the time zone. The simple act of waking up early to pray, worship and thank God, then going to address the day changed me. I got to know more about the Holy Spirit, I began to pay attention when He was talking, I began to feel confident in my faith. And all this made my life better.
I stopped feeling despondent, tired of my life, useless and unable to do anything. I stopped feeling like I was failing, being a burden. I started to be grateful for what I have, started to let go of mindsets and walls and beliefs that were impacting my life and I didn’t realize. Almost like an invisible operating system that runs in the background.
Of course, my story is not over. It’s not even in the middle. I’m just starting and it’s gonna get better. The lessons I learned from this period are thus: 1. Having a routine is important. My system thrives on following steps and ticking off goals as they are done. Even the simple ones such as wake up, brush your teeth, bath the girls, cook some food. 2. Walking with God is non-negotiable. It’s like having insider knowledge about what’s going on around you. The Holy Spirit indeed guides and guards me. He helps me find items that I have misplaced (seriously, he does). 3. Situations are temporary. The only constant thing is change and when you realize that, you become more forgiving and less rigid. 4. You have to choose. I have become more intentional. In fact, yesterday, I decided to always choose joy and happiness. If my baby girl number 1 is talking 19 to the dozen, I choose to look at the humor in it and not the fact that she’s distracting me or is chewing my ear off. If number 2 decides that the sitting room chair is her toilet, I choose to laugh at the comical and innocent face she makes when she says she doesn’t know why she didn’t tell me she needs the potty. 5. I have decided to speak my mind, and not take nonsense. Anything that upsets me, gets addressed. No more sweeping it under the carpet. My mental health and well-being is very important to my happiness and consequently my family’s happiness. 6. I am more lenient with myself. I accept mistakes and shortcomings without beating myself up. Simply being alive means I get the chance to do better next time. Particularly my PhD. I am not done yet, even after 4 years, but I can be done and give thanks about it… I’d much rather look to the positives than the negatives.
So covid 19 scattered my life, but God put it back together, even better.
I hope I have been able to inspire you.