She who thinks she stands…….

I thought to myself in growing horror….. I had become the very thing that I despised. How could this have happened? How did I suddenly become this person? What was I thinking or looking at?

You’re probably wondering what I am talking about. Let me explain. Le boo was reacting to my latest advisory statements. Here I was, all up in my corner feeling righteous, holy, sanctified, justified, persecuted and all that good stuff. Wondering what I did wrong, after all he didn’t explain and yada yada, bla bla.

He then said, “I need my girlfriend, not my mom”. My whole universe tilted and stopped rotating on its axis. It ground to a halt. A gong sounded in my ears and resonated through my brain. Chai!!! See insult. But a small niggling part of me said, ‘you know he’s right, right?’. Boo said, “I need my babe, not my mother”. Chineke, that sounded even worse.

Suddenly, things started to make sense. Lines began to fall into place. My silence gave him the chance to warm up to his explanation and analysis. I began to understand his silences and weird looks at me whenever I said some things, or wanted him to know I felt he had made a mistake. It seemed coincidental that i had muttered to myself, earlier in the day that I felt my words did not to build him up or help him be better. I had uttered a quick prayer for help to watch my words to him.

I realized then that, I didn’t know how to ‘babe’ lol. :D. I know how to ‘mum’ and I honestly suspect that I don’t do that very well sef. I can be harsh, focus on the aspects that I want to be changed and ignore the aspects well done. Gad, I felt so mortified and ashamed that though I intended to help, I was doing more damage than good, both to Le boo and lil angel. I was allowing my approach destroy, rather than build up. At that point, I just wished my lips could be sewn together till I had learned to speak words that edify and build up. Unfortunately, Bae would not let me be, (he probably thinks that when I’m quiet, something’s wrong with the world) lol.

Remember the Bible says “Let he who thinks he stands, take heed lest he falls” – 1 Cor 10:12. In all this time, I honestly thought I was in the right. I believed completely that I needed to always, emphasis on always, point out the wrong, explain and reexplain and make sure my opinion and point of view was heard. SMH, I was just setting myself and everyone else up for a world of pain. I however have had the lesson drummed in today. Though I can talk, and I notice things, I actually do not need to say anything. Should I choose to talk, I can also choose to make my words edifying, encouraging and not destructive. In fact, the tone of voice goes a loooong way (if you know what I mean ;)). I also am not perfect and I can choose to extend the same or even higher level of grace that I would appreciate to others, especially my loved ones.

I have had to go back to the author and perfecter of love, patience, forgiveness and supreme commander of the alien species, Baba God. To ask for forgiveness and grace to be a better me. To bridle my tongue and where I can’t say anything good, to just zip it. I will gist you as my walk progresses. Catch you later.

Tomiwa.

 

Staying Power

Hi guys. It’s been a while again. Pardon my busyness.

So I was talking my pastor’s wife a few days ago and she said something that stuck with me. She said that in anything that was successful, the individual(s) involved had to have made a commitment to whatever the issue was. Now, you may be wondering what is so spectacular about that.

It struck a chord in me. It simply means that for all those companies, businesses, conglomerates, you name it, that are well known today, that have become household names, that have a reputation…., the starters did not give up. They had staying power.

On the days when it seemed that two coins did not come into the account, or on the days that everything just seemed to go wrong, they kept at it. They did not give up, they did not turn back and say “this is not working like I expected, let me try something new”. All the people who seemed to become successes overnight, had invested in a lot of wok and actions, without giving up, without turning back.

There seems to be this mentality running around, that success is achieved with minimal work and effort. I dare stand to say – That’s a lie!!!. We need to learn the lesson of commitment. Giving our all in whatever we lay our hands on. The lesson of diligence. As youths, we need to give up the habit and mentality of doing a little work and expecting mega output. We seem to forget the simple principle of inputs determine outputs. As parents, we need to show the upcoming little ones that diligence and perseverance pays and is actually the only way to go.

Gotta go now. Hope it struck you like it did me. Do have wonderful days.

God loves you.

Tomiwa

Happy new year

Wow, it’s been a bit since i last had something posted up here. I beg your pardon. It all had something to do with completing my masters, moving back home, adjusting, Christmas, doing some research which turned around to bite my delightful tush, having all my folks (with the exception of the middle sister) around, my little princess’ birthday, funny internet and extreme exhaustion (too tired to put on my laptop or tab).

All in all it has been eventful and time and energy sapping for me. Once again, I beg your pardon.

Let me use this opportunity to say Happy New Year!!!

Happy new year 2015

I don’t think it’s too late jare. May this year be filled with the manifestations of God’s perfect will for us all.

A quick one, I was chatting with my dad this morning and he asked me if i was the smallest in the group i am currently in (I am petite in stature and people tend to think i’m still in the first stages of high school). My off hand response was that I had not noticed and it was none of my business. Why would i say that? Because it actually is none of my business what people think of me. I will actively try to live a life pleasing to God and edifying, but beyond that, i cannot go out of my way to try and convince people on the kind of thoughts, ideas or impressions they should have about me. Omo, if I’m pleasing God, then I’m good. This year, I am not going to be obligated to anyone. Being obligated, I have noticed, tends to get me into tight corners and spots I shake my head at or bite my tongue on.
Have a splendid week guys.
God loves you,
Tomiwa.

Late bloomers and keeping faith

So I was walking to school to see my supervisor, proudly rocking my side fro while wondering who sent me on an errand to take out my hair, when i was distracted by a bird on a nest.

Why is that strange, you might ask? After all, they live in nests right?

Well, these birds, Coots as they are called here in Holland, do not make floating nests except when they have little ones coming (well I’m not a bird watcher or ornithologist, this is based on my observations). At the tail end of summer and early fall, for me this strange. I was just telling myself a couple of days ago that all the baby birds had grown up and all the nests had disappeared.

Then it occurred to me that this mama, could be the Hannah of her flock! Everyone else had had their babies at the beginning or middle of summer, with the little ones all grown up and registered in coot college by now getting ready to take up the challenges of being mamas and papas themselves, come next season. 

And there she was,probably cooing and waddling with webbed feet head hung down, wondering why she did not have little ones to qualify for the carpool and games and whatever else little coots got into during summer. (Or she could be raising another set of young ones, which would then set my story as a moot point), I think I would stick with the Hannah story :D.

Her partner would have wrapped his neck round hers, to comfort her in the time tested silent way of the coots. Encouraging with no words and assuring that he was right there beside her all the way.

Then at the end of the season, when other coots had forgotten about the pains it took to push out two or three eggs, then watch the miracle of seeing those eggs hatch and little miniatures of themselves peep and stumble on untried and wobbly feet, her own eggs came. Finally.

Mama coot

I can only imagine the joy in her tiny bird heart at the thought of having little coots run around and get stuck in the middle of the pond in need of rescuing, or their first swim, or swimming to the bank only to be afraid of getting back in. I’m sure she is set in her heart to watch over the one or two or three little ones that are on their way, with everything she’s got.

It seemed the same for Hannah. In fact, she had to deal with a sneering co wife and step children, a husband who had to share his love and affection with the other wife and a man of God who initially thought her drunk. I can only imagine and even my imaginations can not compare to the reality she faced.

Hannah

 

However, she did not lose hope. She kept up her faith. Come to think of it, the other wife might have sneered or said hurtful things like “Are you sure you are pregnant, Can you ever get pregnant after all these years?”. God however, proved Himself strong and faithful. He opened her womb and blessed her with not just Samuel, but with other kids (1 Sam 1-2:21).

Keeping faith

So, you might be a late bloomer, like my coot friend or Hannah and even Sarah or Elizabeth mother of John the Baptist. One thing I know for sure, from personal experience is this – God hears, listens and answers prayers. He never fails. Never ever ever and He will never fail. In fact, the answer He will give will be far better than what you thought or imagined when you were making your request. Just keep the faith (James 1:6) and continue to live a life for His glory. He’s got your back’

Remember, God loves you.

Tomiwa.

Things my mum says that I now say

I remember when I was younger (I’m still young 🙂 ) and my mum would say some things, I would roll my eyes (sorry mum, Love you 😀 ) and say I would never say that. Well, I find myself saying the same things – either muttering them to myself or scolding my siblings. Talk about a feeling of deja vu. 

It is priceless when we come to the realization that mother’s wisdom is actually….wise, lol. The lesson for me is that, wisdom from older ones, usually is indeed wisdom and we should strive to learn from them as much as we could. Never look down on sage words.

Without further ado, here they are.

1. Always put things back where you found them or picked them from.

2. Let all your items have a home, ahan!

3. Always pick up after you, ahh.

4. Clean up after you in the kitchen. The plates will pile up o.

5. Your room looks like a pigsty (I became immune to this after a while and would grin unashamedly)

6. Use your 36 (i.e. common sense). Now that I think of it, how does that number tie in with mental capabilities or use ehn? And those questions seemed logical when asked, you know….

7. All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient. I used to feel like I was being deprived of stuff I wanted to do or have then (especially a second piercing, imagine? Now I can not be bothered, life is much bigger than that), now I realize just how right she was because though we are in this world, we are not of it.

And my current favorite, which is the truest of the true

8. God is the best friend you can ever have

All of these statements came with, or were followed with the look or something similar to it in the picture below, especially the wagging finger or pulled ear

Scolding mum

That’s all I can remember for now. Would update as they come back to me.
So what did your mom say or do that you now find yourself saying or doing?

Hope you guys are having a great week.

God loves you most.

Tomiwa

Serving God

It’s been a while. I have been so busy with writing and collecting data for my thesis. I have also worried about not putting anything up here for a while. I however have calmed down because I’d rather write down something that will have an impact and was a personal lesson for me that I can share, rather than some generic input.

Ok, to today’s post.

The Holy Spirit just impressed upon me that serving God is quite simply, loving Him.

Remember where Jesus says the greatest commandment is to love God with all our hearts, souls and might? Yeah, that was Him telling us how to serve God.

When you think about it that way, it makes it quite easy to follow. When we are in love and love someone, we never want to do anything to hurt them. Why? Simply because we love that person.

When we love God, we would find it easy to follow His commands and please Him, because we can not imagine hurting Him, or disappointing Him or letting Him down.

This message hit me, because I had agonized over not being in right standing with God. I had been stressed out over a particular issue, which I would not have been stressed out over if I had simply obeyed Him in the first place. Why didn’t I obey, you might have asked? I simply was selfish. I loved myself more than I loved God. I was horrified at the different thoughts that were running through my mind and that I was lending an ear to. I could not seem to keep my faith up and I was in despair. My, the devil had a field time with me this past week.

How many times have we found ourselves in instances where we choose to love ourselves more than we love God. For me, countless. I have been so sad and broken. But despite my selfishness, God remained true to Himself. He is love and in His love, He showed me where and how I went wrong. I could not help but share, because I do not know who else needs to be reminded of this.

You want to serve God truly? Just love Him. That’s the beginning. Everything else will fall into place.

Remember, God loves you most.

Tomiwa

Choices

As y’all know, I write based on my own experiences and interactions with people around me. So today, I’m going to be talking about a lesson I have had to learn again and again till it has finally stuck with me.

Choices

Life is all about choices. When we wake up in the morning, we choose to either get up and start the day, or we choose to lie in and introspect deeply about our dreams and desires and experiences waste the day and miss that kick that comes from being up and about. Right down to underwear, our clothes, the temperature of water we use to shower, eating getting out to work…… what ever it is is informed by a choice. Over time, the choices we make become habits, such as the brand of toothpaste we use, our favorite color, our seat in the cafeteria, our preferences in books and movies, our manner of speech and approach to people. Or do you think that nasty girl who always has cutting remarks was born like that? Nope, she chose which words came out of her mouth, and with constant repetition of that choice, it became who she is.

Then there are the big decisions we have to make. Going for sociology versus psychology, going for a masters or taking a job, being a mother immediately or first a gal about town :), all these and more are great choices we have to make. The choices we make, eventually define who we are, how we are seen and how we live our lives.

So what brought about this post, you ask, after all we all know we have to make choices? Well, when people wait for others to decide for them before they can do things, it spells disaster. They lose sight of who they are because they are defined by a myriad of other people’s choices, who are totally different from who they are and who they have been created to be. Abi you think you were just born into the world for no purpose? Think again

Jeremiah 1:5 says

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Now just interchange that prophet with God’s purpose for you. Teacher, Mother, Inventor, you name it. Not convinced?

Isaiah 49:1

[ The Servant of the Lord ] Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.

Ok, I think I have made my point.

We all have people in our lives that we wish could be better or that we could help. I have realized, that there is only sooo far we can go to help these guys. No matter how much we push a person, if that person is not interested or motivated to achieve a result, our efforts will always fall flat. It’s like pushing a car up a hill with the guy at the steering just making sure the car is pointed in the right direction. Once you get to the top of the hill and the guy still only keeps pointing the car without engaging the brakes and starting the engine and making all the necessary actions, that car will roll down that hill and crash and burn. That’s it.

crash and burn

I don’t know if you’ve ever been at a point when you are so tired from talking and encouraging and cajoling and yelling and just plain begging someone to be better or do better. I have. I was practically an expert at it and gradually bitterness and disillusionment began to seep in. That is a terrible place to be folks, trust me.

Anyways, I learnt that we all have to make our own choices. Be it for good or for bad. Even not doing anything is a choice. The best you can then do is pray for that someone. You also have to watch out, that you are not that someone, okay?

Now, imagine you have decided to make a choice, however the options available are so scary. I had to choose between leaving my seven month old cutie and coming for a masters, or staying at home, get a job and struggle to eventually be able to do the masters. Peeps, there were nights I cried my eyes out over this. When morning came, I would smile and seem okay. Then I learnt another lesson. There are two ways to go about making choices.

images

Yup. That’s it. God’s way is asking for wisdom and trusting Him, that all things would work together for your good, which ever choice you make. After the thoughts He has for us are thoughts of good and not evil, to see us to an expected end.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans  I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans  to give you hope and a future.

Do you see the connection to the previous verses I mentioned? God will never leave us or forsake us. Even the very hairs on our heads are numbered and not one will fall of without him knowing. Do you now think that the greatest choices we have to make will be done without Him caring? Haba!

Man’s way is trusting in our own wisdom. Believing we can do it all by our selves, not committing our plans and fears and desires to God. Trying to outsmart others, you name it.

Back to my decision. I put it in God’s hands. I told Him how scared I was that my daughter would not know me anymore. That I would be alone in another man’s country. I listed out my fears and concerns. But I still had to make a choice. So I chose to forfeit one year with my daughter, so I could do the masters and be able to provide the best for my cutie. And I trusted that God would make everything beautiful. Guys, I’m almost done now.

Not only does my little love know me, she calls me all by herself with her oma’s phone. She smiles at me and just listens to my voice. Those are precious moments for me.

It all boils down to making choices.

Toor, this has been a long post. And it’s totally different from what I had in mind, but the words just kept flowing. Stay blessed and remember, God loves you.

Tomiwa

Taking advice

Wow, it’s been a while since I last posted. Writing a thesis really does take it’s toll.

I also didn’t want to write anything without having that conviction to do so. So sorry about the delay.

Anyways, here I am and I’d be talking about taking advice from peeps.

Have you ever seen a person who is quick to tender his/her opinion or advice about a particular situation or issue, but when you go back to check his/her own life, it is not totally in order? Or like the Nollywood movies produced where people go to see a herbalist to make them rich, but the herbalist himself is living in a mud hut? I always wonder to myself why these herbalists can not make themselves richer and let their wealth and affluence be a testament to their prowess.

We need to be very careful what we listen to and allow into our lives. Listening to and taking advice is quite good, however we should confirm that the tendered advice is worth being applied to our lives and situations. I used to listen to any and everything, especially if it was coming from older people, but with time, I have come to realize that, some of that advice is like taking a sweet tasting poison. It seems logical and sound, but when applied, it makes things only worse.

We need to be intentional about everything we do. When we need advice or words of wisdom, we should seek out godly men and women with evidence of God in their lives. The devil is veerry sneaky o. We need to always be on guard, lest we be deceived. Remember, we are stewards of this life we have been given. God is not going to excuse you on judgement day when you say “but she said that…….. and I listened to her”. We are going to be held accountable for every single action and word we have taken.

It does not matter what he or she might have said. We have to be able to judge and decide what we accept and allow into our lives. I pray that God will give us a discerning spirit and wisdom and understanding to be able to sort out the chaff from the wheat.

Remember, God loves you.

Tomiwa

In the place called….. Life

Life, o life, life….

I remember being worried that my shoes didn’t match the school’s standard,

Then I worried that they didn’t match or supersede my peers’,

I worried about not fitting in, not being among the happening guys,

Then I worried about not being unique.

I worried about not having a boyfriend,

Questioned my qualities, was I not good enough?

I worried about having the wrong dude in my life,

Then told myself I was lucky.

I worried about not being top of my class,

then worried that I seemed to finish exams before anyone else,

I worried, and worried, and fretted and fretted.

I was so confused…

Then I became a mum (yay!!!) and I made God the king of my all

O boy, did my priorities change.

I stopped worrying about what others thought of me and focused on what God said about me

I stopped worrying about pleasing others and made His and her happiness key.

I stopped being selfish and started giving,

Wow, what a ride

My whole life changed and the good thing about it is,

As long as you are living, there is room for learning and change.

The moment you stop learning and growing, you start to die.

Choose to grow, and the best growth conditions for the plant called “human” is God.

He is everything, never, ever, forget that

I had a hard time writing this one, being that life is sooo multi-faceted and broad and no one yet has been able to fully comprehend it. I sha tried. I would probably write a part 2, maybe 3 or 4, who knows… life is really huge.

Tomiwa

 

Temples

So I and my bestie are studying the book of John together. Today was chapter two.

one of the key points that jumped at me was the scene where he smacked the traders in the temple

and scattered their wares

John 2: 13 – 17

Jesus Clears the Temple Courts

13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” 17 His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”

Our bodies can be likened to a temple. In fact Paul likened it to a temple in 1st cor 16:19.

Do you not know that your bodies are templeof the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

Do you know what a temple is?

It is a spiritual place, a house of worship, set aside for specific purposes.

Being as special as it is, it is only logical that the temple has the best sort of care available. It is treated with reverence and extreme caution. Adorned with sparkling jewels, clothes of the finest material, incense of the finest sweet smelling oils…, I could go on and on. Imagine the most beautiful and sacred place in the world then magnify it, that’s how the Lord sees us.

Image

The same applies to our bodies. it is the physical dwelling of our souls and spirit and most importantly, the Holy Spirit.

Just as temples have inner sanctuaries, that only the highest of priest can enter, so do we. Physically, spiritually and in other ramifications.

Not just anyone should have access to our special places. We need to do a thorough vetting process before anyone can come in. 

It is hard to make correct judgement of people, as we are quite subjective in our opinions, but we don”t have to rely on our own ability.

We have a confidant, a counselor and a comforter to turn to for help.

Anyway, before I go on to another topic, it is of the paramount importance that we guard our temples zealously. We are charged with the responsibility of caring for this sanctuary and we will be asked to give an account. I wanna be able to stand and give a good report, I want to be praised as a good steward.

Look beautiful or handsome, dress smart, be classy, let edifying words come out of our lips, do not let just any fishmonger or dove seller or ram keeper near your sacred place.

I believe when we start to see how precious we are, we would start to treat ourselves better and others will start to treat us better too.

Tomiwa